Men’s thoughts on relationships and women

This is a great list is shamelessly borrowed from a piece of paper I ran into and freely translated into English. The paper quoted the source as www.positiivarit.fi, a Finnish “positivity” site. Now, all men out there, do you agree with this? :)

  • Learn to use the toilet cover. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We use it up, you use it down. We don’t complain about it being down either.
  • Birthdays, valentine’s days and wedding anniversaries are not tests to see if we can again buy the perfect gift.
  • Sometimes we do not think about you. Learn to live with that.
  • Sunday means sports and/or cars. It’s like the full moon or the tides. Let it be.
  • Shopping is not sports. We will never think otherwise.
  • Crying is blackmail.
  • If you want something, ask clearly. Subtle clues do not work. Strong hints don’t work either. Obvious clues don’t work. Just say it.
  • Check the oil of your car. Please.
  • “Yes” and “no” are perfectly acceptable answers to nearly all questions.
  • Tell us your problem only if you want it fixed. That’s how we work. You can get sympathy from your girlfriends.
  • A headache that lasts 17 months is a problem. Go see a doctor.
  • Nothing we said six months ago applies when arguing. In fact, all our comments become invalid after seven days.
  • If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. We will not answer.
  • If something that we say can be interpreted in two ways, one of which makes you sad or angry, we mean the other one.
  • Let us look at other women. We’ll do that anyway, it’s in our genes.
  • You can either ask us to do something or tell us to do something. Not both. If you know beforehand how to do it best, do it yourself.
  • Whenever possible, say what you want to say during a commercial break.
  • Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions and neither do we.
  • Our relationship will never be like it was in the first month. Learn to live with that and stop complaining to your girlfriends.
  • All men see only 16 colors, just like in Windows’ settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. And we have no idea what a beige is.
  • If it itches, we scratch it.
  • We do not read minds and we never will. This deficiency doesn’t mean that we wouldn’t care about you.
  • If we ask what’s wrong and you say nothing, we act accordingly. We know you’re lying, but it’s not worth it to find out what is the matter.
  • If you ask a question which you do not want to hear an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
  • When we’re going somewhere, anything you own will be just fine to wear.
  • Do not ask what we think unless you’re prepared to hear, for example, about how the stomach works, navel lint, football or cars.
  • You have enough clothes.
  • You have too many shoes.
  • We think beer is a fun thing, just like purses are to you.
  • Thank you for reading this. I know I will have to spend the next night on the couch, but that’s okay. It’s kind of like camping.

I’d vouch for perhaps 70% of these, so it’s a pretty good list ;)

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3 Responses to Men’s thoughts on relationships and women

  1. Gabriela says:

    wow this really is a Great list!!! this is a great reminder for ALL women!!!

  2. Kayembe says:

    ya ladies need full attetion this list is superb

  3. Braxton Oertwig says:

    Yeah i have to agree with this but why even play these games with women other than just lets all be pimps and get the booty and treat them like whores. If we were to do it in any other way the joke is on us men; women are to coy, smug, vanity chasers, and wallet drainers,. Lets work women and go in for the sweet spot on them and move on to the next one.

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